Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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