i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
