I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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