Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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