I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
