Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My vagina is very pro this idea
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