Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
whose parrot is this?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
