You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
MIDGETS
????
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
