Someone shit on the floor
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
