as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
