why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
