Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
