If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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