Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
