So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
