Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
