It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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