I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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