i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
