He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
