You can't motorboat a personality
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
wow bdsm is so cute
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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