I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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