i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
