5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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