She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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