I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
