He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
