PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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