This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
