Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
