Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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