if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm at about main and main street
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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