That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
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Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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