if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
