I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
