38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We had sex on a dog bed..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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