Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
