4 words: hood of his car
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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