I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
