Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All I want is dick and wine.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
