i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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