he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
