Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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