Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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