I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
