Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
