this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
