WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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