glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
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