apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize