just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
