I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
