Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
