Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
