I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wish you could order shots online.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize