one two three fourrrrnication!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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