Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
