I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
In America we eat man semen.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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