sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
