dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
