I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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