I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize