girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
