can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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